“You’ll never find rainbows if you’re looking down”. Charlie Chaplin.
It is truly unbelieveable to me that it has been one year since I have seen my son’s face. Since I have heard his laughter or his voice in person or on the phone. One Year. A lifetime.
The quote above is a favorite of mine and soon became a favorite of J.W. It says everything. He had so much to be discouraged about…life wasn’t fair for him ( I’m not whining!) but he tried to look up. Of course that is easier said than done but he tried….daily. Some days it was easier to do this than others but I believe the attempt is worth everything. Priceless.
The photo above was taken at 10 months and I LOVE it. As he got older he would roll his eyes at this photo ( he was rolling his eyes at the monogram on the turtleneck which I loved). With that being said, I think he liked the fact that there were always so many photo’s around the house. Memories. So many memories.
This photo was taken in Paris and it captures his personality. You could see the JOY on his face. He loved to travel and I am thankful he got to see so much while on earth.
In a post from last year on my other blog, I mentioned Godwinks. I am so thankful that the Godwinks happen on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes they are delivered by a stranger who doesn’t want me to think she is crazy but has to tell me something. There have been hugs with the message “this is from your son and he wants you to know he loves you mama”. What a gift, what a precious gift.
This is for you Sweet Pea. This has been a very long year for your mama and big daddy dog. Some friends have become strangers and so many strangers have become friends but I believe you know that. Thank you for checking in when I need it the most. O.K, one exception. The photo’s “flown” over to me when I was sleeping…no mistake this was your sense of humor AND timing. I could see you laughing in Heaven because you woke me up! I think you are probably still laughing over that. I think the second photo was you wishing me a happy birthday. The picture said it all.
We love and miss you so much. Both of us will continue to look up, looking for those rainbows which you loved. I know you are watching the rainbows from the other side.
As we celebrate your life, know that you will always be loved and thought of my Sweet Pea. Now I have that song in my head and I think you are probably singing it in Heaven and laughing with joy. Please give Grandma and Grandpa a huge hug from me. I’m so glad you are together.
Love you forever my sweet pea.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Hugs to you, Barbara on this hard day.
Thank you Lorrie! This past year year has been the longest year for me and yesterday was the longest day. I am so thankful that I made it through (teary but through). All 'the first's' have been completed. I think J.W. would be proud. XO
Know this is a hard day, but hopefully time is easing the pain a little. J.W. was more blessed than words can describe to have a mom like you. Life is a beautiful, painful, challenging, wonderful adventure. I don't understand the pain part, but I am learning how it makes us LEAN on the Lord and find our strength in Him. Watching my stepbrother and his 12 y-o son both dealing with stage 4 cancer has taught me a lot. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death… Thou art with me." I am praying you will continue to sense His nearness, to lean on Him, and to be comforted by Him… and have many, many more Godwinks! You are an inspiration. Love and hugs!
I have to be truthful Christi, time has not eased the pain at all. My last image of him is etched in my mind. I have found peace knowing that he is healed (not in the way I prayed for) but he is totally healed and healthy. God answers our prayers in the way He sees best and not necessarily what we would like. He is getting us through. I (we) will be praying for your stepbrother and nephew. Someday we will all be healthy, whole, and together. Thank you for your precious words. I LOVE those Godwinks! There is no doubt that our Lord has a sense of humor and timing to allow the winks to come when they are most needed. God bless you my dear. XO
Dearest Barb,
What a touching and loving post about your J.W.'s first anniversary in heaven!
Such special memories will never fade and they stay with us here on earth until we meet again in heaven.
A big hug,
Mariette
Thank you Mariette. You are right, the memories will never fade. Well, the 'first's' have been completed. I'm thankful the year is over. XO
Big hug!
Thank you dear one. Sending a big hug right back to you and your hubby.
Need one dear Barb as yesterday we got back home from 8 nights Florida and I'm living through a terrible cold… Pieter caught a bronchitis a couple of days earlier on Saturday but he's doing better. One day at a time. We had lovely visits with friends while enjoying our free nights at the Hyatt Regency in Sarasota and Miami Hyatt House. We paid for the 3 nights in Orlando, coming and going for breaking up the travel distance.
Hugs to you both!
Mariette
Oh no! I hope you both are on the mend soon. It sounds like a lovely trip! Free is good. lol. Take good care and feel better soon.
XOXO
It is such a comfort to know that our dearly loved ones are together in a wonderful place. Hug from me for you, dear Barb.
Yes, it is a comfort even though the pain is there under the surface. I am so thankful that I can "feel" all the emotions I have experienced this year. Sending love and prayers always.
I came upon your blog from They Call Me Ganky. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
Thank you so much Carol! I appreciate you stopping by and certainly appreciate the thoughts and prayers. Theresa is a lovely lady!